There's no happy ending when you play against Patrick Mahomes

The Texans upgraded from hanging for two quarters to hanging for three quarters, but watched season-long bugaboos end their playoff run.

I’m gonna try to not talk about penalties for hitting Patrick Mahomes. Not because I’m Not Mad, I’m Actually Laughing — but because I just don’t think that is fun analysis to read. The Texans were called for 82 yards of accepted penalties, and the Chiefs were called for 29 yards. DeMeco Ryans’ post-game quote was that the Texans knew it would be us versus everybody. Will Anderson went more direct and said it was going to be “us versus the refs”

The Texans did a very rare thing on Saturday. They outgained the Chiefs 336 yards to 212. They didn’t turn the ball over. And they lost. Teams that did that per ESPN’s Stats and Info hub, were 49-0. They outgained the Chiefs 5.2 yards per play to 4.2. They locked down many elements of the Chiefs’ offense. Kansas City ran 22 times for 50 yards. Kansas City’s wideouts caught five passes — all by Xavier Worthy, one of which needed to be and was absolutely spectacular.

But what they could not do is cover Travis Kelce over the middle of the field, nor could they tackle him. Azeez Al-Shaair left him open on two big zone plays and, in a low-scoring game where Texans kickers left seven points on the field and Houston went 1-for-3 in the red zone, that was that.

I’ve never seen Mahomes look so mortal, so dependent on those 15-yard penalties. It speaks to the strength of the defense. Outside of the fact that I might have considered sneaking Derek Stingley on to Kelce in the second half, the Texans called a fairly good game. But just when you think you might be able to get out of a red zone series with a four-point deficit, here comes this guy:

And, as usual, the Texans did not advance past the Divisional Round. Not that anyone expected them to — most expected them to lose to the Chargers. But this loss felt a little different.

The Texans were able to hang with the Ravens for two quarters in 2024, but they ultimately lost total yards by 140 and yards per play by 0.8 while getting outrushed 229-38. The Texans, notably, were up 24-0 against the Chiefs in 2020 and couldn’t even get to halftime with a lead. They started T.J. Yates against the Ravens in 2011, and were down 31-13 to the Pats in the third quarter in 2012 and 31-16 in the early fourth in 2016.

It didn’t feel quite like those other losses because the Texans should have actually been in this game, if not outright winning it, at the end. That they didn’t has major footholds in special teams, but ultimately a lot of it has to fall on offensive injuries and Bobby Slowik’s pass protection.

Frank Ross and Kai’imi Fairbairn run into the buzzsaw that is Dave Toub

The Texans finished eighth in special teams DVOA during the regular season, but their unit failed in big moments all over the field against Kansas City. Fairbairn had one field goal missed, another blocked, and an absolute dagger of a missed extra point that portended dark things.

The Chiefs took the opening kickoff 63 yards, got 15 yards added on when Kris Boyd forced a fumble and threw his helmet off on the field in frustration, then was found screaming at and pushing special teams coordinator Frank Ross.

By the end of the game, I also wanted to scream at Frank Ross. After starting at the Houston 13 on that drive — mercifully stopped for a field goal — the Chiefs had starts of: KC 31, KC 20 (lead to punt), KC 45 (after Fairbairn’s missed field goal), KC 26 (end of half), KC 19, HOU 44 (on downs), and HOU 45 (after a horrific Townsend punt)

The Texans were fighting uphill for three quarters before they finally could no longer run the ball. We could have reasonably expected the Texans to get called for some home cooking penalties. We could have reasonably expected the team with Patrick Mahomes to do some things on offense. While I was hopeful about the offense before the game based on how they played against the Chargers, I think we could have reasonably expected six-plus sacks given how lopsided Steve Spagnuolo versus Bobby Slowik was.

What I did not expect was that special teams would not only not help, but actively harm their chances of winning.